There is one interesting phenomenon with which I have encountered in my practice. Women who have had a successful and harmonious personal life since their youth, over time, relationships have only gotten better. On the contrary, if from the very first relationship serious problems began, a woman was abandoned or she constantly broke off the relationship, her personal life worsened over the years, her satisfaction became less and less. If you were dumped once, you were dumped a second time and a third time.
I began to research the issue. At first it occurred to me that these women had no analytical ability. Probably, I thought, they did not analyze their relationships, but just thoughtlessly started the next one, getting the same result. To tell the truth, it was still unclear why the relationships not only fell apart, but their quality got worse and worse time after time.
I began to talk to such women, to ask them questions. To my surprise, the theory that women do not analyze past relationships was completely wrong. This was not the case. These young ladies spent a lot of time analyzing and thinking about past relationships. Many of them were well-developed intellectually and educated. Why, then, did analyzing and comparing facts not lead to an improvement in my personal life, but rather to a deterioration?
The answer came later when I learned some secrets about the workings of our psyche and subconscious mind. It turns out that our ability to analyze and draw the right conclusions is decisively affected by the state in which we do so.
If a person is in a state of mental pain and negative emotions, all the conclusions about yourself and others will be exclusively in a “black” light. And the worst thing is that these conclusions turn into a stable view of the world, into internal attitudes, based on pain, fear, hatred, shame, disappointment, a whole bunch of darkening emotions.
In fact, such a mechanism is negative self-programming.
Thus a woman in the “emotional basement” begins to actively analyze what has happened to her, sees herself and men in the darkest light, ascribing to herself and others the worst human qualities. In her eyes, she and the men turn into nasty monsters that must be fought, distrusted, and punished.
Next, the new worldview becomes reality!
As in fantasy novels, she boards a spaceship, leaves the bright and beautiful world of earth, arrives on a dark planet where the best relationships are those in which at least you are not eaten alive!
Another confirmation of what is written above I found in the works of shamans and clairvoyants. To see a situation much deeper than ordinary people see it, they enter an altered, expanded state of consciousness. Notice, their state is not just calm, it expands. And negative emotion shrinks one’s consciousness very much. One literally falls to the bottom of the intellectual vortex under the influence of negative emotions. There the perception of the world sinks to the level of a small child.
Practical advice. While you are in a state of emotional pain, there is absolutely no need to analyze your personal life, yourself, your ex-partner. In general, any conclusions that will be made in such a state will be wrong.
You will be able to program yourself with negative attitudes easily!
The most important thing is not the conclusions, thoughts, and especially not the thoughts that at this moment are persistently knocking in your consciousness. Now the most important thing is your state. This is what you have to deal with! Change it, get rid of pain, go higher and higher on the emotional scale. Try not to get stuck in the grip of any negative emotions for too long.
The sooner you move into a lighter, more positive and joyful state of mind, the wiser conclusions you’ll be able to draw. And, of course, your personal life will inevitably begin to improve!