When a person to whom we are strongly attached, from whom we became dependent, leaves us, it becomes mentally painful. It seems that the only way to relieve this pain is to return the other person. To get back into a relationship with him or her. It is the inner pain, the collapse of strength, the constant discomfort that drives us to do anything to get things back to the way they were!
At the same time, to rush immediately to return the “ex” by any action is the worst decision! I will now explain the reasons why you shouldn’t do this and what you should do! And I will tell you why most of the advice on the Internet won’t work or you won’t be able to apply it.
Let’s get to the bottom of why you shouldn’t start messing with the other person, trying to influence them in any form? It’s simple!
They left us because they were unhappy with us. And for a long time. So much so, that it became much better without us. Or there is another person with whom it is much better than with us.
If we start to pry into our “ex” in any form, and he or she just breathes a sigh of relief without us, we will only get even more detachment. Even more coldness toward us and attempts to protect the new freedom from us. The desire to regain the relationship with us will in no way emerge!
What if the leaving was manipulation? The other person wanted us to run after him or her and start doing whatever he or she wanted. And we of course ran obediently after…
We become trapped, enslaved by the other person. We begin, under the pressure of fear of separation, to do things we don’t want to do. Will such a relationship be happy?
What will happen if we don’t take any steps to get closer? Don’t get in touch and leave the “ex” or “ex-girlfriend” alone? Let’s figure it out together!
The following options are possible
If they were with us only for temporary gain, put up with us for something until they had a chance to leave, then they won’t come back to us. And thank God for that! You don’t need to be used, do you?
If you found someone who was actually closer, better, nicer than us, then you can’t go back again! So we tried to hold on, often without noticing it, by force and pressure to someone who didn’t really want to be with us to begin with. And it is very good that at last he has found freedom from us! After all, we ourselves wouldn’t want to be forced into a relationship, would we?
If we have been loved, but have been doing something very unpleasant to the other person for a long time, a return is possible. If there is still love, of course. Just the other person must rest from us and understand that there will be no more of this unbearably unpleasant in the relationship with us. After some time in the former partner in this case will turn on the “reverse thrust”. But I emphasize, not right away! You may have to wait.
Of course, the advice not to run after someone who has left is not new at all. You can see this advice in so many sources on the Internet. The trick is that most of you will not be able to take advantage of it. Inner pain will drive you to write, to call, to guard around the corner … But that doesn’t mean that you can’t take this advice!
This is where the most important element comes in! Without which, in principle, it will be extremely difficult in this situation. It is the ability to manage your psycho-emotional state. Technically knowing how to overcome mental pain. Otherwise it will inevitably take over you!
Without knowledge and special techniques, even the most useful advice will be meaningless for you. You simply will not be able to use them. I recommend you to start with mastering the basics.
Please contact me!